Tonight I am conscious of the lonely streets.
The wind is cool and the trees undulate with ease
no one sees them dance with grace
in this dark hour.

There is something about
the sky
there are no stars.
A gray haze
has settled above like dew,
but there is no moisture,
except for the tears of my past.

I drag my feet because my goosebumps embrace emotion.
I am just a man walking the streets,
hands in pockets and eyes that see nowhere.

Why do leaves fall so peacefully when they die?

and the world just got bigger

Every night after work, I generally take an hour bike ride somewhere between 8:45-9:15, in hopes to shed the few pounds I've gained since I've moved here. It's not that I eat a lot, or drink a lot, or munch too often or anything, but I think it's because I'm simply getting older. It's weird looking down and noticing your body doesn't quite resemble the physique you've possessed the majority of your life. It's just a few pounds, but even the slightest change to me is monumental. Thus, my nightly bike rides.

Even more than just exercising, I really just need the time to myself. During the week, I wake up and take Korean classes, then go to school and teach, and afterward, I typically eat with Nate and Rodi, leaving a few hours to myself before bedtime. My apartment has a nice view and it's quiet, but I don't like staying cooped up for too long. I've always had reclusive tendencies, but lately I've wanted to get out. And I really love my bike rides. It doesn't really matter where I go. Sometimes I just lose myself in the streets, taking random lefts and rights, not in hopes to find anything but quality silence. My favorite parts of town are away from the bigger buildings, around the residential areas, where everyone is coming and going and laughing and waiting and looking in all directions with their actions - just living. Somewhere in the midst of everyone, I always have these pensive moments, saturated by thoughts of everything: like lonely sidewalks with overhanging trees, the smell of barbecue everywhere, people waiting for their bus patiently - perhaps thinking about nothing but the night, and, of course, there's the beautiful Korean girls, and how plentiful they are. Everyday I see someone I could love deeply, or would like to at least. How I'd like to say something smooth, just to catch a smile.

Last night, after I got home from my ride, I remembered I needed coffee. So, I took a shower and headed to Home Plus. I surveyed aisle two and found some Nepalese coffee. I thought about trying the Peruvian blend, but the word Himalayas on the package struck my imagination with snow and the essence of clouds. Hoegarden has been my beer of choice lately, so I picked up a four pack. Why they don't have six packs escapes me. There's only coffee mugs at my apartment, so I decided to buy some beer glasses. I found the aisle with glasses, but only saw coffee mugs. There was a white guy in the aisle, so I walked over to him and asked him if he knew where the beer glasses were. He drew a blank stare, which I thought might have been from me interrupting him, so I asked again. There was a pause, then, "English, I know not well." Ah ... silly me. I asked him in Korean, but he thought I was speaking English. I guessed he was Russian from his accent. I showed him my beer and made the shape of a glass, but I doubt my charades made much sense. So, I just said thank you and walked further down the aisle, which happened to be right in front of the beer mugs. I grabbed one of the glasses and held it up in the air and called over to him. He saw the glass, smiled, and said, "I understand." We both kind of laughed. I made my purchases and walked home, but couldn't stop thinking about how foolish of me it was to think the guy spoke English.

I wish that I knew what I know now, when i was younger.

Like always, in light of the need to study, I've adopted my lifelong joy of procrastination, yet again. I have a Korean test tomorrow, and I really don't know the material that well. The last test was actually quite easy. I barely studied and did perfectly fine, but I also attended every class. This time, I've missed a week of class due to vacation, and my current work schedule causes me to miss class 25% of the time. Oh yeah, I stopped doing my homework too. Yeah yeah, so I'm kind of lazy. But, I do have a job, which I'm at for nearly 40 hours a week, on top of my Korean classes which sap about 10-12 hours of my week. So, I am productive, just not as productive as I could be. But, I'm not stressing it. If little kids can learn Korean, so can I.

I planned to study all day yesterday, and a great deal today. But, it looks like I'll probably study for only 2 hours today, which will probably be enough to pass. And I'm completely fine with just passing. I'm no linguist extraordinaire or anything. Shit, I actually rarely even practice the language outside of class, aside from ordering at restaurants or saying completely random phrases to myself when I ride my bike. The best way for me to practice is to get a Korean girlfriend, but, not speaking the language greatly inhibits this possibility, especially not living in a larger town. So, I'll just peddle along with the courses till I'm able to say more complicated sentences than: you are pretty, do you want to watch a movie, i don't have time to study, if i had money I would fly to France, yada yada. I can actually say a lot more, but I know I sound like a slow two year old in the process.

Oh yeah, my vacation was relaxing. I went to Busan and Jeju island. I was only in Busan for a few days, but I enjoyed most of what I saw. If I stay another year, I wouldn't mind teaching there, particularly near the beach. The subway system is nowhere near as extensive as it is in Seoul, but it works fine enough. I found it really awkward that most of the Koreans at the beach swam in clothes. Nate and I couldn't figure it out. Maybe it's there fear of the sun god ....

People call Jeju the "Hawaii of Korea", but it's hardly that. I lived in Hawaii for five years. Though I was young, I still remember the continual panoramic scenery: mountains, valleys, rainbows, leprechauns, beaches, mermaids, you name it, sans the leprechauns and mermaids. Not to mention, Hawaii has an annual week-long Spam celebration. Who can beat that!? Though, Jeju is nice. The vibe was definitely more chill than on the mainland, which I thoroughly enjoyed. The seafood was delicious, along with Jeju's famous black pig. I didn't see all of the island, and I didn't get to climb Mt.Halla, which was unfortunate, because I woke up early that day just to hear it was too late to climb! If you have the money, sure, I'd recommend going, but I'd probably suggest the south pacific or the Caribbean first.

Beers and cigarettes are my fireworks.

To celebrate the 4th, I went to Seoul with a group of friends and watched another baseball game. I don't remember much of the game, except for: a few failed wave attempts, 5 shitty Hites (maybe 1 Max), a few cigarettes, this beautiful brunette with a yellow tank top two rows down from me on the right, Doosan getting their asses kicked, trying to cart wheel on a platform after the game, but ending up missing the platform and scraping my shin, hopping the fence and nearly making it to the field, and playing catch with some Korean kids in between innings.

After the game, we all went to the Co-ex for overpriced Mexican. I managed to get sleepy really fast as the night progressed. I haven't had a lot of energy the past few weeks, especially with taking Korean classes and then teaching. We didn't stay in Seoul, because it's too expensive and I wanted to sleep.

On Sunday, I slept in and went for a bike ride with Nate. We rode south for about 20 minutes and came up along some rice fields with pavement that ran alongside and through them. We veered off the road and rode through the fields for 25 minutes or so. For nearly half an hour there were no cars or buildings, just fields. I felt like I was in the mid-west, but, obviously not in the mid-west. I took some pictures on my phone, but have yet to figure out how to transfer them to my computer.

We stumbled upon a town and stopped for a drink. This older Korean guy came outside to chat with us a bit while we were taking a rest. He spoke a little English and we spoke a little Korean. If I understood him correctly, he rode for 1.5 million miles through the mountains in California some 10 years ago.

Nate and I started our Korean intensive course 3 weeks ago. It's kicking my ass. If we were learning a Romance language, it'd be 75% easier I'd say, but judging Korean has virtually no similarities with English, it's a bit more difficult. Though, I do enjoy the language. It's interesting reading a different alphabet and slowly understanding the teacher everyday. I only understand about 50% of what my instructor says. We cover a lot of material. Sometimes I'm halfway catatonic in class. I'm so not a morning person. I need to start drinking coffee again.

We ride bikes.

I've been wanting to write excessively - or maybe I've always dreamed about writing excessively - for some time. Since I've been here, my schedule has been totally defunct. Back home, I was able to work, find time to read, watch TV, walk aimlessly around the lofts, smoke cigarettes with Sepp or Walter, muse about the pervasive role of language and hermeneutic disharmony, revel in the phenomenological experience of a sunset over the water tower, etc. Now, I spend ridiculous amounts of time lurking on ESL Cafe, reading about teaching in South America, France, following endless links, it goes on and on. Overall, I guess I've been a bit undisciplined. Though, I have been studying French and Latin in my free time, so I've been somewhat productive.

My last post depicted last weekend, but it was actually the weekend before last. I didn't get around to actually finishing the post, and ended up posting it a few days before. It wasn't that long, but, remember, I've been lazy.

On Friday we went down to Jungang station for drinks. Rodi's friend that teaches somewhere further south came up to hang out for the weekend. We drank beer and soju and talked and laughed about things I can't remember. Rodi's friend, Mike, was pretty cool. I slept really well that night. I'd been battling with insomnia lately, so that was a treat.

Saturday, we watched a baseball game in Seoul. Normally, the tickets would have been cheap, maybe 9,000 won, but since it was a holiday, Memorial Day to be exact, tickets were like 20,000 won. Not a big deal. The stadium was packed, but not quite as big as stadiums back home, maybe 3/4 as big.

We had to sit in the stairs, but we still had a good view. Matt and Micky were cheering for the Doosan Bears. They got their asses kicked. Apparently the Lotte Giants are one of the worst teams in the league currently, but managed to shine on Saturday. It felt good to watch a baseball game, drink beer, hurl insults at Garcia (some outfielder that used to play for the Yankees but now plays for Lotte), try to follow the Korean cheers, and admire this beautiful Korean lady that was two rows down from me. Saturday was fun.

On Sunday, Nate and I rode to Daebudo Island. It was a long ride, nearly two hours. At first, we projected maybe an hour worth of riding, but half way into the trip, we realized our grave miscalculation, but refused to stop. The bridge alone was 12km long. We didn't get a chance to see too much of the island, though we did get chased off some temple grounds by a Jindo.

After about a half hour of riding around, we tracked back a bit and ate at this seafood restaurant on the the coast. Our seats overlooked the water and some hazy islands in the distance. The coast wasn't particularly beautiful, but I found it somewhat enchanting for some reason, probably just because it was next to the sea. There were people scattered along the muddy coast walking and searching for clams.

As soon as we sat down, a guy from one of the tables nearby started throwing up over the balcony. It wasn't exactly appetizing to see, and several of his friends came over repeating sorry multiple times. They were all drunk off soju and couldn't speak any English, but that didn't stop them from insisting to converse and ask us over to drink Soju. Our waitress, who spoke conversational English, interpreted some of what they were saying. They were all kind-hearted. We ended up getting a free bottle of Soju out of the mix.

After eating, we began our two hour bike trip home. It was a little chilly, but after riding for about 15 minutes, I warmed up. It was nice riding on the bridge, aside from my sore ass. Riding non-stop in partial darkness is very meditative. I thought about everything on the ride back: living in Korea, the ocean, how many calories I'd burn from the ride, what i plan on doing after Korea, my family, trying to learn new languages, everything.

When we got back, I took a shower, then headed to the theater with Nate. We didn't want to ride our bikes, because we were way too sore for that. We watched Night at the Museum 2, because it was the only new English movie out. It was ok.

Despite the exhausting day, I still had to take a sleep-aid.

It's ok to talk to strangers.

This past weekend was nice, but at times, long. On Friday after work, Nate, Rodi, and I stopped by a bar for a few drinks and cigarettes. We shot the shit as usual and ending up having a conversation about English slang. Apparently Nate and I say: tight, word, right on, holla, that's fire, this is the shit (and any other possible randomization with shit), what up, yo, and many other colloquial gems quite often. Rodi is from Canada, and it's not that he doesn't understand us, he just rarely uses those phrases or words. We spent the next hour thinking of different varieties of slang, because every field of speech has its own insular terminology, often used as a code, especially if "the man" doesn't like what you're doing. Slang is a very important part of a language, often illogical if you interpret it word by word, but necessary and unique.

Most of our Korean co-workers studied English while at university, but there's always a disconnect in our conversations. Even if I speak perfectly plain, as simple and structured as possible, there's always a loss of meaning, or a delayed understanding - a brief echo and then a laugh.

That being said, there's an abundancy of miscommunication at work. For example, my school is somewhat disorganized. When I first arrived, I was explained my duties regarding my middle school classes. No tests. Homework, optional. Don't worry about the book, etc. Now, I've been told I have to make mid-term tests for the middle school kids. But, I wasn't told by any of my managers; instead, Nate told me yesterday during supper, one of our Korean co-workers, over three slurps of soup, communicated to him that we'd have to write some mid-term tests for the middle school kids. No clarification beyond that. So, from my understanding, I have to write tests covering what I thought was completely arbitrary material. I feel sorry for the kids if that's the case. I'll ask around this week to find out what's up.

On Saturday, I woke up and went for a short bike ride, because Nate, Matt, I had already planned to meet up with Katie and Anna in Seoul to go to the Korean War Museum the day before. After biking for a half hour or so, I took a shower, then Nate and I met up with Matt and took the subway to Seoul. We stopped for lunch at a little diner and had some kalbi-tang (something like that.)

When Katie and Anna arrived we went to the museum. It was a short walk away, so that was a plus.









A statue of two brothers meeting on the battlefield during the Koreak War - one brother from the North of Korea, the other from the South of Korea.



We didn't manage to go inside the museum, though. We spent too much time outside looking at the tanks, ballistic missiles, planes, anti-aircraft machine guns, helicopters, and all other types of war relics.























Nate's great uncle passed in the war. He found his name.



Afterward, we ate Mexican in Itaewon, then went to Anna's for some drinks. We played Beer Uno and managed to grow more enlightened as the night progressed. The best part of the game was the rule where we weren't allowed to use verbs when speaking...

Nate kicked me at 6:30AM or so and we took the subway back home. Somehow we managed to turn an hour trip into 2 1/2 hours.

Don't look for the breeze.

During class, when the kids hold their faces to keep in their Korean,
and when their hands shoot up like bean sprouts because they know
the right answer, I hear angels sing a lullaby, comprised of elementary
vocabulary words: early, surprise, glad, stack, sticky. We talk about
breakfast foods and I show them pictures of bacon and eggs. The
class erupts,“USA! I’m so hungry!”... and I smile and freeze the moment
in my thoughts. When did I start teaching kings and queens?

i want some manduguk

a song I like mellowing out to:



a fun song:



an emotional song for those rainy days:



and a relaxing chanson française:

My mouth spews disaster at times.

I sometimes forget I'm in another country I suppose. Korea is modernized, and when I look around I think I'm still in the States, aside from all the Korean people and the completely foreign alphabet I can barely pronounce or read. So, when I'm at work I tend to be myself: dry at times, quirky humor, relying upon idioms for expression, etc.

Today I was in my classroom with Nate chatting about nothing important, when one of our Korean co-workers walked in, Jaena. She's tough to read, especially her facial expressions -- I can never tell if she's happy, upset, gleeful, nada... She made a comment about dinner, saying something to the effect that our school had ordered Chinese and to wait a bit for the food to show up. Habitually, I said something I normally say to friends, "quit talking trash." She left the room and I continued my conversation with Nate, unaware of my cultural three-word-nuke.

Nate looked at me and said, "I think you pissed her off." I said nah, but he reiterated his comment, so I went looking for Jaena. Sure enough, I more than pissed her off, I offended her. She told me I went too far and how she knows we laugh at her sometimes because of her English. I was shocked. I didn't expect that from her, mainly because we joke daily and have developed a fairly playful friendship -- I call her Peter Pan and she calls me Tinker Bell. I explained to her the phrase I used was simply an expression not to be taken literally. After a few minutes of my attempt to clarify, she remarked about her sensitivity regarding her English, and accepted my apology and shoulder bump (because I'm unsure about hugs or any kind touching of the opposite sex in Korea.)

Afterward, I sent her a quirky e-mail that will hopefully invoke some sort of relief. I know she likes chocolate, so tomorrow I plan to buy her something.

A word of advice, watch your language, despite the level of comfort you've attained with your foreign friends, new or old. They might interpret the phrase "quit talking trash" as "your English is trash."

the cherry blossoms smiled at me while i rode by.

Today I bought a bike. Nate and I bought the same model, but his is white. They're fast and smooth, and Ansan just got that much cooler.



100% Korean, besides the wheels made in China ...



I'm completely elated. We got a pretty good deal for both bikes. As soon as we hopped on them, we ended up riding around for about an hour and a half. The bike ride was effortless.

If you're looking for a bike, I recommend Samchuly Lespos.

We went to Seoul this weekend to check out Kyungbok Palace, but we got there late and it was closed. It looked cool from the outside.







Nate went back early because his throat was bothering him and he didn't want to be out drinking and whatnot. Matt and I wandered Hongdae in search of Mixed Tape to meet up with Jen, Katie, and a few others. I think we walked around for two hours. Somewhere near the end of our search we found club Freebird, so we stopped there to ask for directions. No one knew where Mixed Tape was or even heard of it. We stayed there and listened to a reggae/alternative band and had a few beers. We split a taxi back to Ansan afterward and crashed.